sitting in the office

Ok, here I am sitting in the office and waiting for my manager to get back so that I can confirm with her the payment date for the companies I'm generating payrolls for... For now, I am relatively free... But the coming weeks will definitely be busy...

Today mba called me when i happened to be working... Honestly, I didn't really catch what she said except the part when she asked me if I want to go watch jubilate and i said no. Lol, I was VERY distracted... I'm sorry mba!! and i need a refresher course... um... is jubilate a musical fair?? Bleah.

My parents just got a car recently. Toyota vios. My mum and my driving's fine... It's just that we need to practise our parking which takes like 10-15 mins to park our car downstairs?? It's alittle hard to make sense of the steering wheel when the car's in reverse mood lar... Haha, but practice makes perfect! And so our skills will improve as the days go on! *fingers crossed.

You know working really takes time, and I only have 2 free days left per week. I've hardly gone out or talked to any of my friends... sad sad... but then... when I reach home each day, I just practically drop to bed and sleep. Aiyah, I want to go out and chill with my friends occasionally!! so guys, call me!!! :)

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel really stuck in life
How I wish time would then fly
and not trap me within its frame
But let me run and pass it by

Sometimes I don't like what people say
Or why should they say it in the first place
Because if it ain't helping anyone
Words of encouragement would then be preferred

Sometimes I wish I am perfect
even though that's like dreaming within dreams
Cos everyone's got different views
You can't be perfect for the world

Projects

Aiii... Projects again... And SEA is such a random topic... And we haven't even get down to writing the thing... A whole load of research and not a single page of report. Gosh! :(

What happened, to the roses by the window?

What happened,
to the roses by the window?
Their once proud head
now bowing to the sun.

What happened,
to the roses by the window?
Their beauty and brilliance,
now a shadow of the past.

What happened,
to the roses by the window?
Their future and hopes,
submerged with the presence of time.

What happened,
to the roses by the window?
Will sunlight and care,
make them strong yet again?

SIGH

This is sooooooooooooo frustrating. Hostel application to NUS is not successful! Gosh, how long it'll take me to travel day and night now... i really feel quite frustrated liao. Then there is the bidding system and the crowded shuttle buses...... so hectic! Why NUS like that. It's supposed to be a good university, but how come i feel like everything is so messy... how come they can't cater to students' needs? Why has that been subjected to availability? I feel a bit unfair and irritated. i'm a freshman and already i'm beginning to feel irritation for my new school. Yikes! I don't like that things are so messed up. :(

the things we want from life.

They say life is all about choices. They say you have a choice to make your decision. Well, that's a fallacy because sometimes it's not the choices you made, it's the choice others made. and their choice can be the reason dreams and ambitions are one step further instead of nearer. because right now, i'm thinking of the things that i truly want. and it's ironic when life gives you some and takes away some and even more so if the things it gave you are the things you've chosen to reject and those that it's taken away are the things you wanted to accept. is it because it's mocking me? because it's angered by the fact that i should turn away from what it's given me in the first place? so it let others execute its punishment towrads me through the choices that they made?

sometimes life ain't fair. and at this particular moment, i'm feeling the impact of those words. life ain't fair not because it's like a game or a drama. it ain't fair cos it makes the final decision after you've made your choice. and its decision today is what's making me feel sad at this moment. and not just today but also many other decisions it's made. i've smiled and shrugged through all those. but not today. not this one. because i've done the best i could. maybe it just wasn't good enough for life at this moment. no pun intended.

random

#1. I am still pretty much irritated that diary-x.com got shut down. all my posts... all my tags, links...not like i'm super tech-savy. i have to get a new tagboard and redo my html code!!!!!!!! arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!! and all my lost blogs.. i want them back.

#2. honestly, i throw most of my thoughts in my diary and call up my friends that by the time i blogged, there's pretty much nothing to say.

#3. gosh, i hate myself sometimes because of all the things that i screwed up on.

#4. how come no short-term jobs??????????

#5. imperial treasure ox tail cooked with red wine is good.

#6. why Genting?

#7. i NEED to get started on so many things.

#8. Life. you grow up and you eventually wake up and realise the stuff that's coming. God, i feel like i'm not ready. Didn't feel like i'm grown up and mature. I'm a bit scared of the possibilities and responsibilities. I know everyone gets it eventually. Sigh, i just want to get it right, get things right. Get my life right. then, erm, i don't know what exactly is right. maybe i do, just that i'm not sure. and yeah, i'm going to reach and fly, catch me if i fall k, so that i can try again until i'm in the sky.

Winded

take from me that hollow depth
and thrust me into an empty void
wish i knew where i was standing
sometimes life ain't got a sense

take from me that endless toil
so my song can stretch the mindless mile
the notes dancing nimbly their melancholic grace
before time shadowed their finale

take from me that silent noise
whispered words aged, worn and torn
puny against a prodigious chant
voicing freedom the way history does

take from me that shattered dream
so that hopes lost can be found
in places where shards first gathered
against the next battled realm.